HomeHere we are again… I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold and crashed after work. But, not to let you, the avid and eager reader down, here is tip #5. It may be the hardest one yet. And I really don’t like Laundry.
So, we are on day 5 of your wife being gone. You miss her and your children and you are tired. Things are stressful. During your conversations on the phone, you say something that upsets your wife, or disappoints her, or possibly you are impatient, or any number of things that could happen in such a conversation as they do when you are home. Remember, these tips aren’t titled, Love your wife when she is gone, they are loving your wife, period, the situation just happens to be that she is on travel at the moment.
So anyway, you can tell that you have disappointed her or snapped at her, or made a poor decision. At this moment, you have 2 choices. you can land the plane or you can crash it. You can ride the bike over the cliff, or you can get off the bike.
Pride, you worst enemy, yourself, will keep you on the bike, defending your position, your action or your desire. And it will take you into the ground if you let it. At a high rate of speed or a slow one. Yesterday we talked about humility and serving a little bit. Here is another case.
What do you need to do?
You gonna ride the bike?
Or get off the bike?
repeat after me…
Honey, I’m sorry that I <insert the description of whatever you did>, please forgive me.
Step away from pride. Do not puff up at her disappointment or anger or pursue your own anger. Humble yourself. Pray for humility. And genuinely ask forgiveness.
I’m not saying to do things just to do things. But if you realize that you messed up, you made a mistake, you got snippy, you got impatient… fill in the blank, then you be the first one to say that you are sorry, you be the first one to humble yourself and offer the sacrifice of your pride and flesh and admit it. You take the first step.
It is good for you to take the first step here when it is your fault, because humility is what we need to seek. We are nothing and we often take ourselves too seriously. And if you can lay down your pride and take the first step, then it will be easier to take the first step in forgiveness when she hurts or disappoints you.
This too is biblical. You did not apologize or do anything towards God prior to Jesus dying on the Cross for you. No matter where you were in Time, God’s plan was in place. Romans 5 talks about how while we were sinners (which is now, and yesterday and tomorrow) Christ died for us. We were ugly and in our sin and He still paid that price, humbled himself, who had no sin, went first to the cross and endured it to death, to forgive us. Because of this, how much more so, we who are sinners, we who are faulty, should we be willing to humble ourselves to say we are sorry and to offer forgiveness when we either trespass and transgress against our wives, or when they do so to us.
Let us love our wives by following the example. Be the first to move out in humility, whether in slaughtering your own pride, or neutralizing that of someone elses.
I can guarantee you, that if you stay on the bike, you will be ensuring hours, days, years of strife in your marriage. but if you get off the bike, disable your pride, you will not only endear yourself to your wife as a humble man who follows Christ, but you will be an example that may soften her and you may also be a means to her humbly following after the Lord as well. I don’t know your situation, but I know mine and I am in need of more grace and humility.
It will change you, it may change her and it will glorify God foremost.
til later today… love you all.
tom