upcoming snow day

The snow is falling fairly quickly now.  The street is completely white.  Looking at the news, it appears that we are in for a few inches of snow.  The entire town is at the grocery store, getting ready for the upcoming “lock down.”  For people like me, from Michigan, it is sort of a joke.  I only choose to stay in so that some other individual doesn’t take my car out because they don’t know how to drive on snow.  Other than that, snow doesn’t phase me that much and ice is a nuisance but not a show stopper, unless of course it takes out the power, and then, well, the internet is down and things sort of halt.

 I’m fairly sure that the way things go around here will dictate a snow day tomorrow.  I was even told that it was ok to work from home too, so on all fronts I’m confronted with a snow day tomorrow. 

The fire is burning in the fire place, the smell of wood burning in the house.  The young ones are in bed.  A movie plays downstairs.  I sit here thinking about stuff, stuff from today, stuff to do, stuff to read, my state of emotion and hunger.  Physically I’m not hungry.  I wonder about my hunger.  A week and a few days ago I was on fire, I had a blog surge of like 6-7 posts in a row.  Then Friday came, then Saturday, then Sunday.  I’ve just been tired.  I haven’t been lazy.  There is a project I am working on, a book that I am writing.  That has been taking my time.  I continue to look into and study 1John and I’m listening to John in the car.  I continue to pour things in the tank and at some level I know that they are digested, but on the surface I feel sort of blank.  It takes quiet to get focused and there is not much quiet in my life for now.  I’m thinking that getting up early is the only answer, but it is also the weakness that i cannot seem to beat.  Forcing myself out of bed at 5am just isn’t what it used to be.  I have good intentions, but the warm bed, sleepiness and the closeness of my wife keep me from staying up in the morning.  It is easier just to go back to bed than to force my head into gear.  It is frustrating.  I can feel the truth in Jesus’ words to the disciples in the garden… “the spirit is willing, but the body is weak”.  they fell asleep.  I choose sleep.  and there is not a lot of quiet in the evening and after the children are in bed, I’m almost too tired to think or comprehend.  something must give.  I must make plans and time and then live by it.  not for righteousness of myself, nor justification or acceptance, but because i know that it is the nourishment that I need for my soul.  Lord help me make those decisions and those choices to choose you over comfort and sleep and laxness.

Without the nourishment of the word, one can lose track of simple truths.  Truths like “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers” 1John 3:14.  How simple this is.  Here is another “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” 1John 3:17.  This is incredibly crazy love and incredibly convicting to 21st century american living.  How much we live for ourselves and force people to do the same.  We expect others to care for themselves and we are often shameful or shamed that we have to ask for help.  We are all just expected to take care of number one (that being us).  How can we learn to live as God intends when our culture teaches us otherwise.  What should we do?  Live radically different than the culture.  care for people.  provide for people.  take care of needs that are within our power to meet.  furthermore, expect nothing in return.  keep no record or list of debts owed you for your kindness but do all because of the kindness shown to you by God, for it is by Him alone that we have breathed today, that we have had light today, gravity today.  And so let us care and love abundantly as we have been loved.  How I need more of this in my life, that my time, my resources, even my blood, that it all might be spent in loving and caring for others.  God enable me to spend the time with you that I might spend my life on others.  whether family, friend or stranger, may I meet their needs, whether material, relational or time. Amen.