a new path
Ξ March 4th, 2008 | → | ∇ God, Pursuit, Thoughts |
I’m really wondering what to do. I have had some interesting responses to my essay entry. I’m kind of torn, since I’m not really a fiction writer. At least I don’t consider myself one. Yet I had fun with my short essay assignment. I again put the blame on Sean Dare. But now, I’m trying to figure out how and where to go with my story. It unfolds in my mind, but I also want to follow some sort of storytelling rules. I don’t know any. Other than don’t mess up. Which has been a crippling motto of mine. It has been an issue for me that causes paralysis on all sorts of planes. I often don’t do things or launch out because I might fail and for some reason, I’ve determined that failure is not an option. dumb I know. Well, not dumb if you still try and try til you succeed. But dumb if you don’t do anything because you might fail.
So I sit here trying to think of where I want to spend my energy. It is a small fork in the road. Do I spend time writing fiction, creating a new world, new characters and tell a story incorporating ideas and concepts I want to teach others? Or do I stay more serious and non-fiction based? Do I have what it takes? Do I just stay a techno geek? Do I do all of them? I don’t know. So much I want to have just one interest, one focus and pour myself in to that, but no, I have many, many things that pull at me. music, graphics, technology, writing, theology, fiction, reading, photography, programming, parenting, getting fit, staying fit, 3D, etc. it all wants my attention and yet I can’t focus on anything. Where would the time come from.
That’s the theme of this blog isn’t it? identifying pursuits. casting out the bad ones, embracing the good ones. They aren’t all bad. They aren’t all good. How do I make sure God is central without using Him as a justification to my desires or my actions? Haven’t we looked at that in history before. Usually on a grand scale we see people doing things in the name of God, things that weren’t really about Him or for Him. Time and time again it happens. And don’t we do that in our individual lives too? I know that I am not immune to this problem. So how do I identify and figure out what gifts to use, where, when and how. You can see where this is going… I don’t want to mess this part up either… so I do nothing. That I can intellectually identify as the wrong answer. Now for the rest of me to agree…
A bubbling brook. moving here and there, over stones, winding around, twisting and turning. That is what my parents likened me to when I was a teenager. and I find that at 36, a bubbling brook is still what I am. How do you harness and focus a bubbling brook?
I’ve written 769 words of The Tree House. I don’t know where it came from. One benefit I have is that I am Terna. I am Terna because I am the main character of anything that I watch or read. I become the person in my mind. I don’t know why. When I read, the movie screen in my mind comes on. My dad tells me that this is not so for many readers. They see words on the page, they understand them. But the words don’t become pictures and definitely not a movie in their head. In my mind are pictures of the farms I grew up exploring as a kid. The woods, the barns, the farm house. They are calling me to write more, to reveal more of something yet undiscovered. Maybe I will do that for a while and when it fades, there will be something else to do, something ready to run my interests somewhere else.
the story will continue… tomorrow. for now I must sleep.
on March 5th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I also have too many interests. I find myself being distracted on a daily basis by technology, new camping equipment, peoples stories, new places I want to visit, new activities…the list is endless really. I have focused my on writing fiction because my interests are so varied. I think it gives me a broad base on which to build my stories. I think that a good fiction writer has to be interested in much of the world around him so he can write on it with authority.
The other reason I write is because I can’t seem to keep myself from writing. When I feel strongly about something I mentally start writing about it. Same with my story telling, I prefer to write it out than to tell it verbally.
If fiction writing is for you then you will find ways around the other obstacles. They are no match for the bubbling brook. If you would like you can read a couple of excellent books on writing that will help you decide if it is right for you. The first book is The Elements Of Style, by Strunk and White. Possibly the most authoritative work on the subject of writing the English language. The other is How To Tell Lies For Fun And Profit by Lawrence Block.
- Sean
on March 5th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Tom,
I am a friend of Sean as well and was pointed to yout blog from his.
I enjoyed what you had to say here - and I find in myself that I too will attempt those things in which I know I cannot fail. I dislike failing at anything.
Also - in reading I get lost in the story - I too become the main character(s) and experience their emotions and life with them. I become so engrossed in their lives that I am sad and miss them when the book is over - so I really like it when an author carries characters from one book to the next so I can continue to get to know them as the books progress.
Vickie